Sometimes the things our parents arrange for us are not what we want to do, but they always say such words as "I am for you", which can't be refuted. So how should I respond when I don't like my parents' arrangement? What can I do if I don't like my parents' arrangement to make them happy and not let myself be wronged?
Parents arrange things for us that we don't like, and wrong ways of responding should be avoided. Sometimes our parents remind us to become a monk, marry our daughter-in-law and have children as soon as possible. From their original intention, it is really good for us, but now we are hard to accept their arrangements. When responding, we must not directly contradict them. Fighting with them will make them very sad. They are really good for you. If you don't understand them, you can also fight with them. In addition, don't be silent and ignore us. It's not the right way for parents to arrange things for us without considering our ideas comprehensively. In the end, it is not the right way to deny them directly. Although you are now mature, you cannot directly deny the arrangement of your parents. Understand the wrong way to respond, then what is the right way to respond?
Step 1: We should first understand the original intention of our parents and elders to say this to us
The original intention of their proposal for us is to be good for us. We should express our understanding and recognition. For example, you can comfort them with "Mom and Dad, I can understand that you also think of me, but also for my good." First, understanding and recognition in this regard will make parents feel that you are sensible and understand their feelings. Let's express our admiration and recognition for their smooth working process from the beginning to the present. You can respond by saying, "In fact, I envy you. You can work steadily for a lifetime if you find a job.". In this way, the response will have a sense of identity with them, which will give them a certain sense of superiority.
Step 2: Analyze the changes in the current situation to prove that you have better choices
You should not talk about their suggestions as worthless, but mention that the current era has indeed changed. Under such a changing trend, some things have to happen. For example, if your parents have arranged a job for you and you don't like it, you can first express your understanding, then analyze the changes in the current situation, analyze what the future development of this job will be, and whether there is a future, and then prove that you have a better choice. You think from the perspective of your parents rather than from the perspective of whether you like it or not. Next, you will analyze some advantages you have chosen. We don't say that parents' suggestions are wrong, we only say that the times are changing, what advantages do we have, and what kind of work is suitable for us.
Step 3: make clear your own plan, let them know that we are not determined by a hot head
Let them know that our own decisions are made through detailed planning and research, and there are many reference bases for them to rest assured after listening. So show your own plan and involve them in your next life plan. Although parents are old, they don't want to be ineffective in front of you. They also want to show their value in front of you and contribute to you. If their values can be reflected in our future life planning, and we can provide some network resources, financial support, etc., we can find ways to play their role, parents will feel that they are useful here, and they will have psychological comfort.
If you don't like your parents' arrangements, you can use the above three steps to persuade them. In the face of their suggestions, we didn't deny them or contradict them. We analyzed our own arrangements and plans, and let them participate in your life planning, fully understand their intentions, and let them show their value in front of you. They will be easier to understand us
