Social phobia is the abbreviation of social anxiety, social phobia and social phobia. It refers to people who will have a strong panic reaction to special people, who are afraid of internal experience and avoidance behavior. Therefore, it is also called "fear of seeing people". The root of social phobia is that individuals pay special attention to others' views and evaluations of themselves due to their sense of inferiority, and even have fear.
Except in some cases, social fear only occurs when you are with others, and there is no fear when you are alone. The most common performance is that you feel very uneasy in one-on-one social occasions, do not know what to say, dare not look into the other person's eyes, blush with nervousness, or even stutter.
When you mix with a group of strangers (on the street or in public places), you will always feel the interference of others' sight, and you will be more nervous and timid. In addition, people with severe social phobia are often accompanied by dizziness, nausea, tremor and other physical reactions, refuse to contact anyone (generally excluding family members), cannot participate in any social activities, completely isolate themselves, and cannot go to school or work.
The most important point is that the social phobic people want to socialize and express themselves, but because of their inner inferiority complex and fear, they are "forced" to avoid socializing.
What does social phobia fear?
Social phobia is a neurosis that is excessively afraid of social activities. People with social phobia clearly know that this fear reaction is wrong, but they can't control it, and then there will be some anxiety, even if they go to social activities, they will also be very afraid.
Psychologists divide people's personalities into two types: introversion and extroversion. Introverted people like to think and have deep feelings. They are cautious in dealing with others and like to work alone. They often lack determination due to excessive worry. They are not flexible enough to adapt to the new environment, but have the spirit of self analysis and self-criticism. The most fundamental difference between the two is that people with social phobia cannot and dare not contact with the outside world, while introverts just don't like or want to contact with the outside world.
People suffering from social phobia have no way to get rid of anxiety. As long as they look at and talk with others, they will feel nervous and afraid. If it is necessary to communicate with others, the patient will appear obvious blushing, rapid heartbeat, and cold sweat. Patients often have no way to control their behavior, and dare not attend parties or even appear in public places.
In this society where communication is very important, social phobia will cause great harm to the life of patients. So if you suffer from social phobia, you must treat it in time. To treat social phobia, patients should first communicate with their families and friends. Step by step, slowly start to contact strangers, so that they can gradually communicate with others, and reduce the symptoms of disease.
Patients with social phobia are afraid of making a fool in front of others and dare not go to public places. Patients can record others' words and deeds and their attitudes towards themselves. Slowly, patients will find that others do not pay too much attention to themselves, so as to get out of the fear of making a fool of themselves. Patients can also spend more time in public places. When they feel nervous, they will bite their teeth and stay strong. In the long run, they will be able to adapt.
Six steps to stop your fear
1. Examine reality
The first step is to find out what chemical reaction is going on in your brain when you feel anxious and timid. You are not abnormal, your brain is just abnormal to the new stimulus, which makes you handle it carefully. Knowing this will help you understand what happened and make you more relaxed in the future.
You don't have to become shy and anxious. Tell yourself that it's just the reaction of some chemicals and cells when they encounter some nonexistent threats. There is no need to panic (ignoring the beating heart and sweating palms). Calm down and respond rationally.
2. Don't indulge in negative thoughts
When you make a speech, you usually have three related concepts: what you intend to present, what you actually present, and what you hope to present to everyone.
When you focus on what you can improve, those negative thoughts, it is a vicious circle. After leaving a meeting, party or a social occasion, don't always think about what should have been done better, and don't think about "why did I say that".
Everyone will talk nonsense from time to time. However, focusing on the negative will make you believe that you are a person who said the wrong thing in social occasions, and this idea will often appear. You should realize that everyone can say the wrong thing. Don't bother and ignore it.
3. No pressure applied
Don't feel pressure to be funny, humorous or good at talking. In fact, it's the best choice to be the most normal and natural person. This is the pressure to become someone, which increases social anxiety and timidity.
You have settled countless conversations in your life, and your next one is just a small test. You don't have to be the life of the whole party. Be your best self and speak your mind when you have to express your opinion. If you don't need to talk, don't feel pressure, just calm down and have fun.
4. Don't assume
Don't always assume that people will comment on you. Most people are mainly concerned about themselves and the things around them. They have no time to amuse themselves with your actions. Remember this point. If you don't remember anything in the whole article, remember this point: everyone will occasionally be clumsy.
During the dialogue, everyone will say something inappropriate from time to time. Don't think it's your responsibility to be embarrassed and silent. Don't feel guilty because of the negative factors in the conversation. There will always be untimely things happening, and there will certainly be a cold spot. These are normal, and it's perfectly normal. Continue to be yourself.
5. Don't panic. You need to pause
There is no need to panic in social occasions. If someone asks you a question, stop and think for a while before giving an appropriate answer. Most people who are anxious and panicked in social occasions will answer immediately. They feel that they must answer the question immediately. When someone else's voice falls off, they think they are forced to start talking, which is unnecessary.
When you do this, your words will sound more thoughtful and insightful, and you will more fully express what you want to express, and you will look more executive.
The need to answer questions immediately reveals that this person is uncomfortable with silence. Usually, the most weightless person in the conversation hopes there will be no silence, but silence does not matter. It shows your appearance and makes you feel comfortable.
Learn to pause for a while, don't rush to answer questions, focus your thoughts together, avoid saying "um", and present your talents in a more intelligent way.
6. Strive to be an initiative
Recently, I saw the president of a country on TV. At that time, he was going to a polling place to vote for the next year's presidential election. I want to see what he really excels in.
The striking thing is that he walked towards everyone with a smile and confidence, and spent a lot of time introducing himself to everyone in the room. All this made him look very confident and presidential.
In fact, he can also walk with his head down, just like a social phobic, who takes it for granted that everyone knows him. On the contrary, he has his own aura and actively interacts with people around him. This process makes him look very powerful!
