1、 My sister came back from a week-long business trip and asked my nephew: Have you listened to my aunt these days, eat well and sleep well! Little nephew: Yes, my aunt's boyfriend cooked delicious! Sister: Boyfriend? What does it look like? Little nephew: It's good to have a beautiful little aunt. Every day, different boyfriends send delicious food. I can't remember what they look like, but they wear the same clothes
2、 My parents are half a hundred. I always like bickering. I played in Shanghai some time ago. Where do I play with my mobile phone. My mother looked at me and said to my father, "Look at how miserable your daughter is. Nobody wants her." My father was not happy to look at me and said to my mother contemptuously, "Cut... talk like your daughter wants her if she wants her to." I... who provoked who
3、 Last year, there were two new girls in the company, both of whom rented houses. Later, the little girl's residence was robbed. She sent WeChat messages and cried more than once. Later, she always seemed to live in fear. A big girl told us that she had already taught her how to hang boys' clothes or underpants on the balcony. If you don't listen, I'll never be fine. This year, the older sister still rented a house safely, while the younger sister made a boyfriend to live in a villa.
4、 When you like a person, you will like everything about him. I like his focus when driving a sports car, the gentleman when he wears a diamond necklace for you, his arrogance when he says "brush freely", and even his carelessness when he gives you money.
5、 There is a thief here who often steals things when he goes to the market, but his skills are too poor and he is always found and beaten badly. He didn't leave even after being beaten. He took out a package of medicine from the bag. He had everything to eat and apply, so he gave himself medicine. After taking the medicine, you will be alive and well again. Later, the thief gave up, because now his wound medicine is very popular.
6、 Mr. Liu's long hair and beard have been left for ten years, but he has not been willing to cut them off. On this day, he finally decided to change his image to see if his classmates could recognize him. He pretended to find someone to come to the class and asked, "Is Teacher Liu in this class?" When the monitor saw it, he ran to the headmaster's office quickly and said breathlessly, "Principal, no good! Our teacher Liu cut her hair, and even he couldn't recognize her!"
7、 I heard a man and a woman arguing in the next building. It was very noisy. I didn't pay attention to other conversations. I only heard two curses from the woman. The first sentence was: "You fight, why don't you kill me?"? Second sentence: What son? Your son is not yours! After the second sentence, it suddenly became quiet. Don't ask me about the follow-up. I also want to know what happened later!
8、 I was so sad to quarrel with my husband and lose the quarrel tonight! My brother came back to comfort me and said: Sister, you are ugly and black, have little money, and short. It's good for your brother-in-law to look at you. You are so angry, have so many rules, and have such high demands every day. Don't look at you foolishly and run away! I wipe it... Can't I go back?
9、 Grandpa came to see me and brought me some delicious food. I said, "Grandpa, you have enough for me to eat for a year!" Grandpa said, "Just pretend with me, and you will finish eating in half a month at most!"
10、 Nowadays, there are more men than women, and many boys may not find a partner. I decided to find more husbands to end their painful single life. First, find six, three to make money, three to do housework, and take care of children. Come to my room in turn from Monday to Saturday, and rest on Sunday. This small day is very uncomfortable.
11、 Yiguang Hairdressing Salon came in, a beautiful woman with white skin, unhappy! After a careful look, the long one is called a handsome one, but her hairstyle is really not flattering. The shop assistant immediately stepped forward and asked: Do beautiful women need a haircut? The beauty said coldly: I just want to show you how ugly the hair cut here the other day is!
12、 My son took a piece of broken paper and said to me, "Dad, I have a treasure map. I'll give it to you. Can you give me 10 yuan?" I took it to see, and said, "You are the family that drew it. Why do you call it a treasure map? Give me 10 yuan back." My son: "Dad, look at the place where you draw with red ink." I looked under the sofa carefully, Under the legs of the table... Damn it! This is the place where I hide my private money. I quickly said to my son, "What, honey, I will give you 50 yuan!"
13、 My sister-in-law beat up my nephew who did not get good grades again. While crying, my nephew said to me, "Do you want to raise my godfather's fault and teach me how lazy I am? You have said in your books that education is my father's and teacher's task. My mother has nothing to do with me. What does she do with me every day?
14、 On the bus, a woman with a large stomach came to me and said, "Give up your seat!". Me: "Why?". The woman straightened her stomach and said, "Don't you see it?" I: "Stop pretending. We all lose weight in the same weight loss center. I often see you."
XV Teacher: "Boys and girls, Xu Xian caught the injured white snake and released it. The white snake became a spirit and returned to repay his kindness. What truth has this story taught us?" Xiao Ming raised his hand, "I know!" Teacher: "Oh, tell me!" Xiao Ming: "That is, if you catch small animals in the future, you must not release them, otherwise there will be many demons in the world!" Teacher:
