The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, and the man himself has a certain responsibility, as a son, you should do two things here:
The first point is not to have a clear position, no matter whose position you stand on, the final result is that Zhu Bajie looks in the mirror, and he is not a person inside and out.
The second point is to be a peacemaker, sometimes both of them are discouraged, and they need to go down a step, and the existence of the peacemaker reflects the importance.
As the so-called clean officials are difficult to judge family affairs, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law war has been a historical problem, many times it is not a matter of principle, it is a trivial matter, in this case it is difficult to distinguish a right from wrong, you will find that no matter who looks at the problem from whose point of view, it seems to be able to say the reason, this is a characteristic of the difficult to determine the housework, each has its own reasons, and it seems that everyone has a reason, the most important thing is that both people want the man to stand on their side and oppose each other.
Do you find it difficult to be a man? Actually, for me as an experiencer, it's not a difficult thing to do.
Make a wallhead grass and pour it with the wind
The grass on the wall is a derogatory term used by people to describe a person who has no position, but sometimes this sentence is really useful, the clearer your position, the more attacks you will be attacked, the clearer your words, and the more opposition you will get, especially in things like the mother-in-law war, you can't have your own position, if there is one, it is also a neutral position, you stand on one of the people's position against the other, at this time either you are a white-eyed wolf who does not recognize your mother, or you are a negative man who betrays love。
Be a peacemaker
There are not so many things that cannot be passed between the family, and there is a peacemaker between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law who says and talks and many things will pass, so the role of the husband at this time is very important, and he should know how to play Tai Chi and thin mud.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, how to deal with the husband
1. Learn to hide from both ends, don't pass it on at both ends. As a man who can't speak, don't speak, especially on the occasion of family gatherings, don't be open-mouthed, the wife says that the mother-in-law is not good, the mother complains that the daughter-in-law is not filial, it is just from the nature of the woman to complain, listen to it and it will pass, if you take it seriously, if you pass it on both ends, or just say that it is purely to blame, there is nothing to look for.
2. Have the courage to take responsibility, when something happens in your family, no matter whose fault it is, you must come out and bear it as soon as possible, after all, blood is thicker than water, and the old man will not see you when he is angry, but once you shirk the responsibility, the unlucky must be your daughter-in-law, and there will be more complaints about a so-called outsider old man.
3. Take the initiative to help your wife integrate into your own family, instead of helping your family to reject her, which may be injustice to all husbands: since you marry your wife and go home, how can you reject her? But although some men do not have such thoughts subjectively, they are actually doing such things, making their wives feel that they are an outsider in your family and are ostracized everywhere.
4. Understand, the so-called filial piety is the first, the starting point is to think more about the elderly, the wife must be coaxed, as a daughter-in-law herself, you must also learn to understand the elderly, otherwise the old man has worked hard all his life and has no reason to whisper to please you.
Why is the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law difficult to get along with what should I do if my husband is a mother-in-law and a mother-in-law? In fact, many people know that the key point of the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law lies in this man, the son of the mother-in-law, and the husband of the daughter-in-law, but most men are not capable of reconciling, and most of them stand on the mother's side and will not coax their wives. Many times it is because the mother-in-law loves her son too deeply, and she has not learned to let go of her son after taking care of her son for so many years. And the daughter-in-law thinks that I have lived with him all my life and should be better for me, but the two women are a little contradictory, so they stand on the mother-in-law's side, and slowly the daughter-in-law will have more opinions on the mother-in-law. Because the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law grew up in two different eras, the living habits and concepts in all aspects are also very different, and there will inevitably be a lot of friction when living together. Women are jealous, women are naturally jealous, whether they are old or young, beautiful or not. For a mother, the son is the lifeline, and after getting married, she always feels that the daughter-in-law has snatched the son, thinking that the son only listens to his wife for everything, so many times there are contradictions when there is a slight disappointment. Always self-righteous woman teaches you how to make your mother-in-law like yourself when you first meet a woman after marriage, always think that she is a housewife woman, but she never thought about her husband, how hard her lover is to pay, for this family, she does not know how to be considerate, men's hard work, mother-in-law thinks that she can help you take care of the child, you young people can go out to do more work, reduce the burden of the family.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, how to deal with the husband
1. Take out the prestige of the head of the family.
Many families with bad relationships often hear mothers-in-law accuse their sons of "marrying a daughter-in-law, forgetting their mother, and listening to their daughter-in-law everywhere." The daughter-in-law accused her husband of "taking care of her mother and squeezing herself together"...... All in all, there are conflicting families between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. They all think that their son (husband) is weak and incompetent and cannot be angry with himself.
Therefore, in family life, men sometimes have to show the prestige of the family leader to deter those mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law who are messing around, so that the woman can stop using violence and deal with the conflict between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law once and for all.
2. It must be persuaded alone
Women are crazy people, especially they can't show timidity in front of their opponents, so it's better to persuade them to separate them.
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, even if they deliberately reconcile, need to be given a step, and it is too difficult to show weakness face-to-face with conflicting opponents, right? And persuasion alone, you can also say good things for each other "as you like", anyway, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law rarely go to the examination and have no way to verify it, and there is no need to worry that someone will feel biased.
3. Give your wife a chance to be a good person and give yourself a chance to be a bad person.
Some men like to secretly give money to their parents and siblings. In fact, it would be foolish to do so. Women get angry when they know that their husbands have done such things behind their backs.
They don't hate their husbands for giving their in-laws money to spend, but they hate men for doing this behind their backs. One is that they don't respect themselves, and the other is that they tend to let their husbands misunderstand themselves. So, as long as it is within the scope of the obligation, give it generously in front of your wife, or let your wife come out and give it, so that your parents know that it is your wife's consent and remember your daughter-in-law's goodness.
4. Never express your attitude publicly.
When mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law quarrel, they often pull their husbands to judge. When the husband gets the embroidery needle, he should never use the embroidery needle as a mallet. Women are not very reasonable even if they don't quarrel, so don't "just" point out who's wrong.
In the eyes of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is not necessary to judge you impartially, but to see whose heart you are towards? This is not the opinion of a third party, but the "touchstone" of both parties. It is better not to say which side is wrong, otherwise it will exacerbate the conflict.
5. Do housework together and don't always instruct your daughter-in-law to work.
The son is the mother's wholehearted and spoiled since childhood, and the mother must be angry if the son is ordered by his daughter-in-law to go to work. A smart man is not a lazy man, at least let the parents see the two of you working together to maintain a small family.
Even if a man has not done a lot of work since he was a child, he wants his daughter-in-law to do more work, he should not teach his daughter-in-law in front of his mother, he should respect her daughter-in-law.
