When a relationship has become unfit to continue, then it is time to consider giving up on the relationship. But many people do not make such a decision.
1. From the process of getting along with two people
Generally speaking, whether a relationship should be given up or not depends on how well two people get along. If both parties can tolerate each other, understand and trust each other, and can spend quality time together, then the relationship is worth cherishing; On the contrary, it may not be worth nostalgia. Therefore, judging whether a relationship is going to end depends on the specific situation. For example, if a person often says that he or she is tired to death, but he or she does not want to admit it, it is difficult to determine whether this person really likes him/herself. Also, pay attention to what the people around you think about the relationship and see what everyone thinks is good and what is not. Finally, when communicating with family or friends, you can also ask questions to test your family or friends' opinions about how they really feel about the relationship and what we can do now to continue the relationship.
2. Judging from the feelings of two people when they are together
When two people are together, the words and actions of the other person will directly affect their feelings. If the other person is mean or controlling, then you will feel very uncomfortable. Therefore, judging whether a relationship should be given up? If two people have a conflict, it often starts with some small things. For example, one party says they want to eat, but the other party does not respond; Or the man and his friends go to play, but leave the woman alone at home and wait. These little things can put a lot of psychological pressure on both parties, leading to tension or even breakdown of the relationship. Judge from the family background of both parties. Generally speaking, if a person comes from a relatively wealthy family, they tend not to care about the conflict between their parents, because there are not many problems within the family in this case. However, if a person comes from a poor family, he or she is susceptible to pressure from the elders in the family and feels neglected or left out.
3. Judge from the family background of both parties
Judging from the family background of both parties is a more effective method. When two people are together, if they can understand each other and tolerate each other's small shortcomings, they can enhance their relationship; Otherwise, friction and conflict may arise, and it is also necessary to consider whether there are differences in the family backgrounds of the two parties. For example, if the man's parents are very traditional, do the woman's parents dislike the man? These factors will affect the development of your relationship.
Sometimes, giving up on a relationship is not an easy thing to do. Because this decision can do you a lot of harm. So, if you're looking for a love that you can enjoy for a lifetime, then be mentally prepared.
Excluding malignant situations such as scumbags, violence, and cheating, when you get less and less happiness in your relationship, more and more negative energy, and are in a state of mutual consumption but cannot be changed, it is time to consider stopping losses in time.
1. The needs of both parties do not match
A relationship is also essentially a social relationship, and both parties can profit from it in order for the relationship to last. The reason why two people start a relationship is because both parties see in each other a certain point that attracts them, it can satisfy a certain need in their hearts, and only when both parties understand and meet each other's needs will the relationship be stable, otherwise the relationship will go wrong sooner or later.
Sometimes, it's not that you're not good enough, it's not that you're not working hard, it's just that as both of you continue to grow and your values change, your core needs change and you can no longer meet each other. For example, you want a partner who respects you, loves you, understands you, and respects your career choices, but he wants a woman who can be his backing. At this stage, you will find that the magnetic field between you begins to be mutually exclusive, your stubbornness is difficult for him to understand, his gentleness you think is timid, two people obviously speak the same language, but there is a situation where the cow plays the piano, the chicken and the duck speak, and you can no longer get understanding and recognition from the other party.
When your needs in the relationship no longer match, you can no longer satisfy each other, and you are powerless to change this situation, you will fall into a state of mutual attrition, and instead of constantly hurting each other, you should consider whether to stop the loss in time.
2. Having been in love for many years without mentioning marriage
There are many couples who have been together for three, five, or even ten years, and finally break up. In fact, the longer you are in a relationship, the easier it is to break up and the harder it is to get married. The main reason behind this is that in the long-distance love run of two people, the passion has subsided, and the contradictions, conflicts, and dissatisfaction have accumulated more and more. When a fierce conflict breaks out between the two one day and consumes the last bit of affection, it will lead to a breakup.
If you have been in love for many years, but the other party has not mentioned marrying you, and you have hinted many times that he is also pretending to be deaf and dumb and does not give a clear statement, it is likely that he is just consuming you and has no intention of marrying you. At this time, not only your relationship will be gradually consumed, but your own youth and time will also be consumed, if you really can't have a future with each other, you might as well consider ending this relationship and ending to consume yourself.
3. The status of both parties in the relationship is not equal
In a relationship, it is necessary to give in both directions, satisfy each other, and find a balance that makes both parties feel comfortable, so that the relationship can last for a long time. If the two parties do not pay equally, it is easy to have high and low positions in the relationship, the party who pays more will be in a low position, and the party who pays less will be in a high position.
A person in a high position is easily self-centered, she will take her partner's efforts for granted, and will continue to ask for love from her partner; People in a low position will feel very tired because they have not felt the love and emotional support of their partners, and they will gradually cut off the emotional connection and reduce their efforts to their partners; When the partner is not satisfied, they will put pressure on the other person, and it is easy for two people to have conflicts and quarrels. When one party wants to be satisfied and the other party is unwilling to be satisfied, persecution and quarrel will make the two people get along into a negative cycle, and each other will continue to consume, and the relationship will easily break down.
If you have an unequal status in the relationship, an unequal effort, and you can't change the status quo, you might as well consider stopping losses in time to avoid more losses.
It is inevitable that we will encounter some inappropriate people, not so good people, and even scumbags in our lives, which will make us suffer a lot of torture and hurt in the process of falling in love. If you find that you have been consuming yourself in a relationship and are powerless to change the status quo, then no matter how much you have paid for this relationship, you must stop the loss in time, and don't be unwilling to give up because you have paid too much youth and energy, because you are reluctant, and you will lose more in the future.
If you are struggling with whether to stop the loss in time or try harder, and you are worried that you will not be able to make the most correct decision, tell Lemon about your situation, and I will help you analyze it and give you advice.
Breaking up is hard. They are painful and depressing. The longer you spend with someone, the harder it is to let go of a relationship that no longer serves you. You may make excuses for them and decide to stay, even if you have a gut feeling that things aren't working out. But if your partner treats you badly or you always feel pain around them, your relationship is unlikely to last. Here are some signs that it may be time to give up.
1. You don't have the same values
There are some important issues that will affect your future relationship. For example, marriage, children, where to live, and financial problems can all be reasons for a breakup. If you don't already know where you stand on these issues, it's worth talking about. If you find that there are some things that you don't agree with and neither of you are willing to compromise, then you are essentially wasting each other's time because it is bound to come up again, and probably in a bad way.
2. You turn to others to get what you need
Many people have a "work spouse," a colleague with whom they have a close platonic relationship. This is not uncommon, as most people spend 40 hours a week at work. When that companion (or anyone else) becomes the primary object of your quest to satisfy your needs, things go wrong. The connection doesn't have to be physical, but it certainly makes the situation more dangerous if it's attractive. It doesn't have to be a pseudo-romantic relationship either. It could simply be that you feel the need to ask a friend or family member for a listen, vent, or a deep conversation. All of these things first and foremost, things you should have received from your partner.
3. Your partner is not interested in your life
When you're trying to talk to your partner about work or friends, if your partner just nods nonchalantly, they may not seem interested. If they can't even pretend to be interested while you're talking, it seems impossible to expect them to accompany you to family events or friends' gatherings. He doesn't need to do everything with you, and you shouldn't do everything with him. You all need to have your own interests and hobbies. But when there is a major event in your life, you want your partner to be there for you as best as possible. Having to beg him to do something you care about is a sign that there is something wrong with the relationship.
4. You feel hidden from your partner
Some people are very private and don't like to show off their romance, but at least, at a certain point, you'll want to get to know some of your partner's friends and family. If you think you're in a stable relationship, but your partner doesn't share anything about his life – or avoids introducing you to his family and friends, then you may start to feel out of place. Your partner should give you a glimpse of his world, including inviting you to an important event or hanging out with friends. You want to feel that your partner is invested in the relationship and is proud to show you off.
5. You're afraid to be honest with your partner
In healthy relationships, people feel completely comfortable with each other. They are able to discuss their desires and needs, and when those needs are not met, they speak up. So the feeling that you can't raise your concerns is a problem. You don't have to worry about them thinking you're crazy or feeling you're too sensitive just because you ask them what they want. In any case, you should feel safe enough to talk about your emotions. If you can't do that, then maybe it's time to reevaluate your relationship.
6. You feel pressured to change, and it makes you feel unworthy
It's one thing when your partner asks you to open or close the toilet seat. But if they don't have the fun to tell you to lose weight or get a better job, you may start to feel like you're not good enough. Everyone wants to feel loved unconditionally, and if your partner isn't doing it for you, it could be a projection of their own insecurity.
7. Lack of trust on one or both sides
Trust is the foundation of a strong relationship. If either of you feel like you can't trust each other, then the relationship won't be successful. Of course, in the beginning, it is normal to be a little jealous or insecure. But over time, you should build a healthy dose of trust – so that when you're not together, you don't have to worry about what your partner is doing all the time. If they keep asking about you, it's a sign that they don't trust you. This should make you question your relationship.
8. You stay only because you're invested a lot in the relationship
If you often think about breaking up but don't have a good reason to stay, you may be content with what you get out of the relationship. Being with someone for a long time is not a reason not to break up. Yes, it's bad when you put a lot of time and effort into a relationship and it doesn't come to fruition. Your body clock may be ticking, and you think that if you are not with this person, you may not meet societal standards for when you should have children or get married. But that's not a reason to stay in an unsatisfying relationship.
9. Your partner has abusive tendencies
Abuse is undesirable, whether physically, mentally, or emotionally. You don't deserve to be treated unfairly in any way – especially by someone who supposedly cares about you. If your partner is making irresponsible remarks about you, abusive at you, or making you feel worthless, then it's time to leave. Because abusers often use fear to control you, getting rid of your abuser can be challenging, but it's more dangerous to stay because the situation can worsen.
10. No one supports your relationship
Everyone has their own opinion on everything, and when it comes to your relationship, it usually doesn't matter. If there are one or two people who are unhappy with your relationship, it may not be a big deal. However, when everyone in your life, including friends and family, has concerns, it may be worthwhile to consider what they think.
11. The resentment between you never seems to go away
In any relationship, whether romantic or otherwise, if left unresolved, resentment can be heavy and take a toll on you. You may be irritated by little habits that your partner hates, or maybe you are haunted by a resentment from a long time ago – one that he doesn't even know is still haunting you. Or it could be the other way around, he may be constantly bored with you. Resentment may be a sign that your relationship needs to be evaluated, talk about whether the issue is something you can transcend or if it is a more important issue that you can't solve.
12. You are not happy anymore
It may seem self-explanatory, but if you're feeling unhappy in a relationship, maybe it's time to end it – unless things aren't always that simple. Whether you're denying or making excuses for being unhappy, you have to face reality. If you and your partner can't fix your relationship, then you'd better break up rather than drag it out.
If you're in a relationship and the above signs resonate with you, take a moment to reflect and see if it's worth fighting for or if it's time to let go.
