When a friend chats with you, do you always enter the mode of preaching, and can't help but offer various suggestions and persuasions to the other party, and enter the mode of being a teacher. Although you are good for the other party, the other party is boring you to death. Since the other person is in a bad mood and has met some low energy things, he doesn't want to have too much pressure when he comes to you. You are just adding pressure to the other person when you attack him. Although the other person's energy is not higher than yours, you can't give advice to the other person from a commanding position, so the opposite party wants to stay with you for a while, just want to relax and vent their emotions, Then don't be such a teacher.
So how can we change the problem of being a teacher? Here are three suggestions to help you get rid of the problem of being a teacher.
First of all, we should understand why others do not like this preaching mode. It is very simple that many of us lack the judgment of the other party's true intention, always focusing on appearances. People can't help but start taking action and making suggestions according to appearances. So we should control our own uncontrollability and remember the following three suggestions.
1. Don't be conceited
Even if the other party complains with you, you should know that when the other party complains with you, he does not clearly want to listen to your suggestions. As long as he does not clearly want to listen to your suggestions, you should not give advice to the other party. Because when the other person complains, he may just want to vent the following emotions, so you can make a garbage can and let him pour out his emotions. You can give advice to the other party until the other party puts forward "What can I do?" when the other party starts to ask you for advice. Don't think that once the other party complains, you should help the other party solve problems, because some problems are unnecessary.
2. Balance your affirmation and negation
Most of the time, when we give advice to the other party, we always use a very offensive tone to make the other party uncomfortable. Nobody likes others' negation of themselves. Everyone cares about their face. Even if the other party is wrong, the other party is not willing to admit it. So when we give advice to the other party, we can confirm the other party first, Tell the other party that there is no problem with your original intention in this problem, but this method can be adjusted a little more, which will be better. This is to balance your affirmation and negation and make it easier for the other party to accept.
3. Take the matter as it stands
Even if you give advice to the other party, it is a matter of fact. We take more objective facts as the basis, and say it with reason, rather than saying the big truth, so that the other party will feel that you don't have a backache when you stand up. We try not to comment on the person, whether the person concerned or the other person he complains about, we do not comment on this person. We can say, "It will be angry on anyone. It will be very uncomfortable on anyone." We try not to comment on others when we comment on things.
If you find yourself always ready to be a teacher, you can use the above skills to change yourself and believe that your popularity will become better and better.
