If you want to know which skill has the fastest rise in value, it must be "chatting". The old useless nagging mode has become a diamond technique that everyone is eager to learn.
More and more data show that people who can chat can not only win in the workplace, but also in love. Chatting has become an art of life, as well as a survival skill and ability to get away from the single. Nine out of ten bachelors have language communication barriers.
There is a distant relative in our family who has a good relationship with his grandmother. Every year, he will come to visit the elderly during the Spring Festival.
But in recent years, their topic is always inseparable from blind date and finding a partner.
Relatives have a son in his early thirties. He has never married, and he still has no friends.
In recent years, relatives have asked people everywhere to make matchmaking. It's not easy to find the right girl, but they always scare people away because her son can't talk.
Although relatives repeatedly stressed that their children were too honest and honest, none of the girls bought it. This really upset their family.
As the saying goes: water does not lift the depth, people do not talk about how good or bad?
People who can't chat, not only can't others know more about you, but also you can't know more about others. Especially in a love relationship, not talking is a gap between you.
What about men who can't talk? Are you single for a lifetime? Don't worry. I'll summarize my experience for you now, so that you, who are not very talkative, can talk with girls too late.
1. Say something about life normality and your feelings, and close your distance.
It's a lot of normal life and easy to talk, but you should know that not everyone is interested in your life. A person always talks about his or her life's trivia, which not only does not promote your chat, but also makes people feel that you are very fragmented and bored.
So, what we want to talk about is the interesting things in life. The most important thing is to tell our own views and feelings about this matter.
For example, you recently saw Nezha, a domestic cartoon, and you think it is very good. Then you can first ask the girl if she has seen it. If she has seen it, you can exchange your impressions. If the other person doesn't see it, you can tell her how you feel after reading it.
This will not only make the other party feel that you are grounded, but also that you are a conscientious person and understand life.
This way not only can bring you closer, but also can let you have something to talk about all the time. Talking and talking, don't feelings come?
2. Don't contradict a girl's views and hit her self-esteem.
In the process of chatting, we must not contradict the views of girls. Although you may not agree with her point of view, once you refute her, you are standing on her opposite side.
In addition, if you refute her opinion, you will feel that she has hurt your self-esteem and lost face, and will not want to continue talking with you. This is not conducive to the progress of your relationship.
There was a neighbor who had been married for seven or eight years. Because the man often contradicted the woman's point of view, the woman felt that she had never been respected. Even though she had been married for many years, she still ended up in divorce.
Therefore, in the process of associating with girls, you always refute their views, which can easily cool or even break your feelings quickly.
3. A girl quarrels with her friends and confides in you. Don't give her any advice, but listen and enlighten her more.
If a girl quarrels with her friends and talks to you, remember not to give her advice. Most of the time, she has an idea of her own and tells you, just because she is very sad at the moment and wants to talk to someone.
If you give her some advice at this time, it is easy for her to have other views on you, or even change your previous performance.
For example, when she comes to talk to you about her sadness, you keep saying, "I think this should be..." "I think you can..."
Then she will probably think that your subjective consciousness is too strong and ignore her feelings. You may even think that you are a solipsist, which will make her think of keeping a distance from you.
So at this time, we just need to be a good listener. If you think you can speak well, you can also take the opportunity to enlighten her and make her more dependent on you. If you feel that your language expression ability is not very good, then wait for the girls to talk about it, and find a suitable topic to guide the past.
4. Talk about your past embarrassments properly to reduce girls' preparedness.
Another thing that can reduce girls' defensive psychology is to properly talk about their own embarrassments.
Because embarrassments are private, I am ashamed to announce them. And embarrassing things are generally interesting.
Moreover, if a person always shows his good side, it will make people feel fake and untrue. So at this time, you need to show your interesting and imperfect side.
The famous Japanese speaker Duo Huhui said that before his speech, he would deliberately create some small accidents such as "taking down the speech", so as to make the audience feel that he is cute and thus close the distance between them.
It can be seen that by telling her your embarrassing story, you can prove that you don't treat her as an outsider, which can bring you closer. Second, she will be happy to listen, which is conducive to the progress of your relationship.
5. Find common ground and try to lead the topic to the topic you are familiar with and interested in.
The best way to enhance your relationship is to talk with her about topics that resonate with you.
For example, if she likes traveling, you should tell her about your experience of where to go. The most important thing is to talk more about your feelings. When talking about girls, you will find that you are a person who has his own opinion on everything. It's very happy to chat with you.
There is an example on the Internet:
A female college student on holiday and a boy working in the court had dinner at a common friend's house. After being introduced by the host, the two strangers began to talk. Slowly, the two found that they had common views on social evils, and unknowingly started a discussion. The more in-depth the talks, the shorter the distance between the two sides, and the more common points they have.
After that, the two people often met and chatted in private, and soon they naturally got together.
Therefore, men should not feel that they are not good at speaking. After meeting a girl, they should either be silent or nervous and don't know what to say. In fact, as long as we catch a few points, we can have a pleasant chat.
